How to take charge of your career conversations

Don’t wait to have that career conversation

Top tips on how to take charge of that career chat with your manager

We may assume that if our manager isn’t talking to us about our career, it must mean we’re not ready, or worse, not valued. But more often than not, the silence says less about you and more about the system you’re in.

Many managers don’t feel equipped to have proper career conversations. Perhaps they haven’t had great examples themselves. They’re under pressure. And development often gets squeezed out in favour of delivery and more immediate deadlines.

Some managers and employees may feel it’s best to just wait for the annual review. But if that only happens once or twice a year, that’s a long time to wait. And it may not come at the right moment for you.

So, if you're waiting for someone to bring it up, you might be waiting a long time.

Do you recognise yourself in reflections like these?

• “I know I’m doing a good job, but no one’s talked to me about what’s next.”

• “I’d like to stay and grow here, but I don’t know how.”

• “My manager’s nice, but we never actually talk about development.”

When there’s no space for these conversations, people feel stuck. And when people feel stuck, they leave, or stay and disengage.

It’s not just frustrating. It’s a retention issue, a motivation issue, and often, an inclusion issue too, because the people who lose out are often those who aren’t part of the inner circle or who aren’t naturally vocal about their ambitions.

You don’t have to wait for your manager to kick things off. Here are some ways to take the lead without feeling like you’re overstepping:

Be clear about what you want
You don’t need a five-year plan. But try to articulate what you’re hoping for – more responsibility, more visibility, more balance, new skills. Even a rough direction helps steer the conversation.

Book the conversation
Don’t assume it’ll happen in your next one-to-one. Ask for a dedicated slot to talk about your development. Try to do this at a time when you don’t feel your manager is under a lot of pressure, say, with back-to-back meetings, so they can dedicate some focus to the discussion.

Share your thinking
Talk about what excites you, what you’re curious about, and what challenges you want. If you’re not sure, say that, and ask for support in exploring it.

Ask questions
This is a good way to hear where your manager is at with your development, and prompt them to think about it too. Try: “What opportunities do you see for me here?” or “What do I need to work on if I want to move towards X?” You don’t need to have all the answers. Your manager should be working with you to help you progress.

Make it more regular
Follow up in future check-ins. Can you book monthly ring-fenced development discussions with your manager? Or send more formal agendas for your regular catch-ups, with personal development and career progression as standing items? This helps turn it into a meaningful, ongoing conversation, not a one-off.

If your manager isn’t having the conversation, you can. And if you are the manager, the invitation is yours to offer.

The only thing worse than not being asked what’s next is realising no one’s planning it with you. So take charge and make that conversation happen!